So I guess...The past couple days have been rough. With friends, school, and rehearsal... I'm struggling. First of all, I feel completely invisible to people I consider to be my best friends. I don't know. I'm just the girl to be talked to and never talked about. I felt completely embarrassed last night at 'Once on this island' when I went up to the lead girl (Who i had heard was drop dead amazing, gorgeous, talented...From the ever loving friend.) and I go up to her and say "your so amazing, you did such a great job! I have heard so much about you" And she gives me this look. So thinking she would recognize my name(cuz i think he talks to them about me just as much as i talk about him...stupidity in my head) So i say "I'm Kayla. One of this guys friends" the look stays. Maybe he said my real name. "Mikayla Smith" the look stays. EPICALLY AWKWARD. FAIL. So then she pity's me and half heartedly says "Oh...Right..." So embarrassing. Is it really selfish for me to think that he would talk about me to his friends as much as he tells me about the "Beautiful, talented, wonderful girls" in his life. But he's right. They are all wonderful... Bless the heart of dear Craig who has put up with my crap. I love him. With all my heart. He makes my life easier. Happiness. My friend does too, don't get me wrong. Just... He's a different kind of help. But i end up bawling to him... He's the kinda guy that says very logical and profound things to a selfish girl like me. lol. Like I was crying to him saying "I would do anything for some of these people. Drop everything and anything to do anything or everything for them...But they never do the same for me." so he says "Isn't that just the best though? Doing service and not getting praise for it?" GAh. Yes bud. But i'm a teenage girl. I love all he says and does. Honestly, he really is a great influence for me and my life. Lol. Love him soooo dang much. Really. He's like my brother... My big brother who is amazing like that.

Anyway, other boys are sorta bugging me. The situation with a certain boy is difficult also. But i'm getting through that. I'm feeling incredibly guilty and i shouldn't. I told the truth...I shouldn't feel all that horrible...Right?

Cody also has been amazing. I love that kid. He is just as cute as a button! I'm so so happy he's in my life. Also, I get to see my long lost almost shark buddy, Steven! Happiness :) He's oober cute :) Gah... I don't know. Friends are so complicated right now.Two girls who i have considered to be my best friends seem oober sick of me sometimes... And i am maybe trying to hard...I don't know. It just seems like if i stop trying...I loose them. Unlike the amazing abby who can gain friends in an instant. lol. I'm very envious that woman. lol. Anyway, Life is complicated. And I just want to go to sleep until summer...or i get kissed by my prince...Whatever comes first. lol. I must go. I'm sorry for the epic fail that is this post...But I kinda don't care.
The Drama Queen